Feeling this, Lyle. A good old clonk in the noggin to set things straight... ;) Also wondering if I should start broaching "exit strategies" with my therapist, even though I want to marry her, even though we're both gay. And already married.
I can definitely attest to the power of writing as therapy. It’s cathartic to get all those thoughts that have been rattling around your head down, and to try and come to some sort of conclusion around them all—even if it isn’t definitive, it’s a step in the right direction.
One additional thing I’ll add. Don’t close the door on the idea of therapy forever. You might decide in 6 months you’d like to talk to them again. If so, don’t beat yourself up and see it as a step backwards. Listen to what you need.
I've been reflecting a lot on my own writing journey without falling into the trap of comparison and judgment. Your Substack is literally my gold standard for beautiful narrative meets introspection and relatability and it's so encouraging to hear that you weren't always so sure-footed or confident in your own process. All of this really resonated– what a gift to have writing as a resource in so many ways!
Lyle, how timely and spot on. I haven't had "the talk" yet with my therapist, but during our last chat, we addressed how–at least with regards to his modality, which is CBT– I really didn't "need" him anymore. And I've only been seeing him for about two months, it's a miracle, I'm cured! We worked on a very specific thing, and came out on the other side with some useful solutions, what more could you ask for. But it's also because so much of the heavy lifting is happening in my writing; writing remains the lifeline, the most effective therapy, as you said. (Not to mention the most affordable.) Like any sort of exercise, it really shows results the more you practice! But personally, I do still see the value of spending that one hour a week getting an external perspective, so now I'm looking into other forms of analysis that are more broadly oriented towards exploring self-knowledge. You know, talking about dreams and childhood and really digging in nice and deep. I'm all about that examined life, and whether in writing, in analysis, or even in the comments section of great newsletters, I'll take whatever help I can get!
Right there with you on how writing helps. I also go back and forth between feeling that it's self-indulgent, pointless time when I have a bazillion other tasks I must do and remembering (when I get myself back in a writing groove) that it hugely helps me in my relationships with my son and my husband and people around me in general. It gets that shit out of my head, gives me a creative outlet, and even teaches me a thing or two about myself. Essentially, yes, I'm agreeing with all of the things you said about how writing is helping you cope. Me too. Thanks for your writing, I'm glad it is helping you (which will also help your daughter, too).
This is a terrific post. I'm sharing it next week in my newsletter. Your journey with therapy and writing resonates with me. I've not been as brave as you, reserving most of my writing-as-therapy for my journals but I've felt that same internal pressure to write essays that go deeper and, for me, feel more risky. Thanks for sharing this. And I'd never heard of Foster - that was interesting to find out about, too.
Feeling this, Lyle. A good old clonk in the noggin to set things straight... ;) Also wondering if I should start broaching "exit strategies" with my therapist, even though I want to marry her, even though we're both gay. And already married.
I can definitely attest to the power of writing as therapy. It’s cathartic to get all those thoughts that have been rattling around your head down, and to try and come to some sort of conclusion around them all—even if it isn’t definitive, it’s a step in the right direction.
One additional thing I’ll add. Don’t close the door on the idea of therapy forever. You might decide in 6 months you’d like to talk to them again. If so, don’t beat yourself up and see it as a step backwards. Listen to what you need.
Your writing is a gift to us. Thanks Lyle
"People who are interrupters..." made me laugh! Thanks Lyle.
I've been reflecting a lot on my own writing journey without falling into the trap of comparison and judgment. Your Substack is literally my gold standard for beautiful narrative meets introspection and relatability and it's so encouraging to hear that you weren't always so sure-footed or confident in your own process. All of this really resonated– what a gift to have writing as a resource in so many ways!
Lyle, how timely and spot on. I haven't had "the talk" yet with my therapist, but during our last chat, we addressed how–at least with regards to his modality, which is CBT– I really didn't "need" him anymore. And I've only been seeing him for about two months, it's a miracle, I'm cured! We worked on a very specific thing, and came out on the other side with some useful solutions, what more could you ask for. But it's also because so much of the heavy lifting is happening in my writing; writing remains the lifeline, the most effective therapy, as you said. (Not to mention the most affordable.) Like any sort of exercise, it really shows results the more you practice! But personally, I do still see the value of spending that one hour a week getting an external perspective, so now I'm looking into other forms of analysis that are more broadly oriented towards exploring self-knowledge. You know, talking about dreams and childhood and really digging in nice and deep. I'm all about that examined life, and whether in writing, in analysis, or even in the comments section of great newsletters, I'll take whatever help I can get!
Right there with you on how writing helps. I also go back and forth between feeling that it's self-indulgent, pointless time when I have a bazillion other tasks I must do and remembering (when I get myself back in a writing groove) that it hugely helps me in my relationships with my son and my husband and people around me in general. It gets that shit out of my head, gives me a creative outlet, and even teaches me a thing or two about myself. Essentially, yes, I'm agreeing with all of the things you said about how writing is helping you cope. Me too. Thanks for your writing, I'm glad it is helping you (which will also help your daughter, too).
This is a terrific post. I'm sharing it next week in my newsletter. Your journey with therapy and writing resonates with me. I've not been as brave as you, reserving most of my writing-as-therapy for my journals but I've felt that same internal pressure to write essays that go deeper and, for me, feel more risky. Thanks for sharing this. And I'd never heard of Foster - that was interesting to find out about, too.